The Backward "S"

Today marks one month since my sister Melanie passed away and I still can't believe I have to think much less write those words, but it's true and unfair and makes me angry and sad at the same time.

My mother wanted to have some sort of memorial that wasn't depressing or heart breaking as Puerto Ricans tend to have. Usually there's lots of tears and moaning prayers but none of that symbolizes the type of woman my sister was. She was a funny, witty, fiery ball of latina energy. A little Miss Independent, just like the Neyo song of the same name.

All sass but with a lot of heart mixed in. She liked things that were Goth just as much as she liked things that screamed DIVA IT'S SHOWTIME! She was a freestyle lovin', hip hop dancin', salsa swaying' metalhead diva chick born and bred in Brooklyn from her dark red hair to her toes. Born a blond with strawberry curls she chose the fiery hair color as a way to express who she was inside and we chose a tree with leaves the color of her hair to remember her in that manner, as the woman she made herself into.

My mother bought seven helium balloons earlier today which all happened to be heart shaped and read "I love You" on them. We gathered in the backyard around Melanie's tree and my sister Monique's best friend Iraida read Psalm 23. We even had a balloon with a long string for my furry partner Niko which he held in his teeth like a good boy.

Iraida read the prayer and we slowly released our balloons, even Niko let the string go when I told him to.

They raced to the sky in seconds, quickly topping the house and sailing off toward the park at the end of our street.

Monique's boyfriend, Greg, having the best set of eyes in the group spotted them sailing off toward Carle Place and we both estimated they'd be flying for a few hours or miles at the very least.

After a few minutes of watching them he noticed they'd formed into a backward "S".

Melanie's nick name was SassyBori, she loved Supergirl as I loved the Superman character more for what he represents than the comic itself. Strength, virtue, justice, integrity. On Melanie's Sidekick she had Supergirl as her wallpaper. Her middle name was Sonia (the same name as her absolute favorite aunt).

When she passed in the hospital, she seemed at peace, she went in her sleep looking like herself. An hour after we went back in with my uncle Edwin and aunt Marisol, the first ones to re-arrive on the scene after we made our heart-broken calls to the family. When they went in they asked us to come see her again because of her face.

45 to 55 minutes after she passed she had a Smile on her face, sure as I'm writing this and I have five witnesses to verify it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. I remember leaning over her and staring right down into her face to be sure I was seeing what I was seeing.

Sassy
Supergirl
Strength
Sleep
Smile
Sister

The balloons forming into an "S" shape was significant to us to say the least.

Make of it what you will. It matters to me and that's enough for now.

My mother was looking up at the S with her hands to her face and tears in her eyes but they were different this time. They were surprised, shocked even, and definitely sad tears, but from my perspective they also seemed...satisfied? Sanctified?

S.