BARBED WIRE SMILE (2001)

I may have never loved you
this side of me
this dark pantomime with its backwards grin
barbed wire teeth, sockets where eyes never were
no windows there, just darkness
waiting
I can't lie, or laugh, or scream my way out of this
this struggle
to be what you're not
whole, alive, complete

I think of broken glass at dusk
like dirty, forgotten jewels
like tears
neither of which anyone wants
but not so useless when they cleanse
scraping away, washing away
until next time
sometime later
sometime so far away you forget how it felt to hurt

and maybe that's why it does each time
you have distance between hurts
enough time to actually think its healed
before the skin is broken once again

and there you are
waiting
patient and hungry
and smiling your barbed wire smile